Scratching the Itch and Getting Bred

 I have officially been locked for over 2 weeks (18 days to be precise) with zero orgasms and no cumming. This lockup has been a much slower build when it comes to the horniness, but I'm honestly enjoying the journey a lot more this time than previous lockups. While there are ups and downs in my mood, I have a better understanding of "why" those fluctuations occur and I feel a lot more grounded in my purpose as my Bull's chastity piggy. 

Yesterday was a prime example of my role as a locked sub. Since Monday, I've been enjoying a nice slow horny build. I've been chatting with some kink friends, teasing each other, and also scrolling kink socials. This has helped me maintain a horny haze that's been pulsating in the background and has felt pretty good. Tuesday, I woke up straining HARD to the point I had cage bar imprints on my nub. I was super excited about plugging up after work. Unfortunately, work happened. It was a rough day that completely soured my mood, and I ended up not plugging. 

My body and my hole were very unhappy it didn't get fed the day before, so the horniness hit me like a truck yesterday. Everything I saw or every post I read caused me to strain in my cage. I was very much looking forward to plugging after work and scratching that itch. I mixed up a fresh batch of XLube and let that sit while I wrapped up my meetings. I got everything done earlier than expected and was so ready for my hole to be stretched open by the GK75. I did a quick clean out and warmed up with the GK65. After a couple reps, I swapped to the 75 and it slid right in with minimum resistance. It's as if my hole was starving and had to gobble up the plug as quickly as possible. 

I was feeling extra slutty caged and plugged, so I took some pictures and posted to Bluesky. Some of you may have seen them in my post yesterday. I also decided to send those pictures to my Bull. He had just gotten home from work and was relaxing downstairs. I genuinely wasn't expecting anything from sending him those pictures. One thing I've been working on during this lockup is accepting that my Bull doesn't always have to give me dick. It's more a privilege and reward to be fucked and bred and not a right of a locked piggy. I'm still working on this and evolving into this mindset. I guess in a weird way, because I wasn't demanding or expecting anything, I ended up earning the Bull's reward. 

He came upstairs to inspect his piggy. We started cuddling and just touching each other and enjoying the time together. At this point, I still wasn't expecting dick at all. I was focused on the moment and getting the chance to relax with my Bull holding me and playing with my nipples. My nipples get extremely sensitive when I'm locked, so as my Bull manipulated my nipples, I started to whimper and moan. A gentle flow of pre-cum continuously oozed out of my nub.

I was gently playing with his semi and felt the blood start flowing into his cock. The hardness began to engulf my hand and I started stroking him slowly up and down. I moved my head down and placed the head in my mouth and started to gently suck on his cock. As it got more and more slick, I was able to work more and more of his hard dick into my mouth and throat. My Bull had been fairly quiet prior to this, but he started to moan as I worked his cock like the obedient piggy I'm working on becoming.

Two things continued to intrigue me during this process. The first was how my Bull's moans affected me. Every breath, every moan, every whimper he would let out caused me to strain against my cage. His pleasure and enjoyment were turning me on and causing my nub to get more and more aroused. The second was how I still was not expecting to get fucked. My focus was on pleasuring my Bull however he wanted it. If that resulted in finishing him with my hand, that was how he wanted to orgasm in the moment and my job was to provide that.

After a while of continuing to hold and caress each other, my Bull asked me if I was ready to get fucked. I've never really had this question take me off guard before. Normally I'm itching to slide his hard member into my warm hole, but this day was different. I was enjoying the moment and allowing whatever happened to happen. I said yes since I had already cleaned out and was plugged. The excitement was coursing through my body. 

I got into doggy position on the bed and my Bull climbed up behind me. He started tugging at the plug and working it in and out of my hole. I focused on slowly pushing out and contracting my hole at the right moment to ensure I could properly milk his cock when the time came. He eventually pulled the plug out of my ass and replaced it with the head of his dick. Since I had been plugged with the GK75, my hole was pretty open so Bull slid into me with one swift motion. As he bottomed out in my warm wet hole, he let out a satisfied moan. 

He started pumping his hips back and forth and using my hole for his pleasure. It felt amazing as every inch of his hardness slid in and out of my hole and I felt it rubbing against my prostate. But I knew I couldn't just enjoy the fucking, I had a job to do. I needed to maximize my Bull's pleasure, so I started to contract and constrict my sphincter muscles in time with his thrusts. I heard him moan louder and I used my ass to milk his cock. I even felt a decent amount of wetness and knew he was coating my insides with his pre-cum. 

Bull continued to fuck me at a steady pace and moaned in approval of the pleasure I was giving him. His moans truly filled me with pleasure and satisfaction to a degree beyond a simple jack off and orgasm. Suddenly, I heard "Oh shit, I'm cumming". One thing to know about Bull is that it takes him a while to cum and on this occasion, it was considered pretty fast. This filled me with even more pride and satisfaction that my body could get him to orgasm so quickly and he couldn't hold back. It reinforced my need to continue to hole train and provide Bull with the best hole to fuck. His moans grew louder and I could feel his cock pulsing inside me as he emptied his load into his personal cumdump.

After he was done, we showered together to clean up and Bull had a satisfied smile on his face. We both agreed we weren't expecting to have anal sex and it was a bit unexpected, but very much welcomed, haha! In my post yesterday, I mentioned I had an itch only the GK75 could scratch. I guess Bull proved me wrong with a very unexpected, but satisfying breeding. This locked piggy feels very well fed.

Why do I lock up?

Today I hit 14 days locked! I'm entering the phase of a lockup where I am slowly losing my mind over horniness and I want to rip this cage off and cum, haha! It's crazy to me what a week difference makes. Getting my mind back together and focusing on chastity has contributed to this horny buildup. Last post, I discussed how far I've come in 3 years of chastity. I wanted a separate post to explore why I lock up. With horniness and sexual frustration creeping in, I think now is as good a time as any to dive into that. Hopefully it will help me reestablish my purpose as a locked piggy. 

My number 1 need sexually is to satisfy my partner, particularly my Bull. While in general, this is a very submissive mindset, it goes beyond Domination and submission. It directly targets how I feel sexually satisfied long term and not just the short term release of an orgasm. Don't get me wrong, orgasms are great and feel good in the moment, but I've never been able to sustain that satisfaction. However, when I'm sexually servicing my Bull and using my body to give him pleasure, every moan, every whimper, every compliment and feedback, and every little piece of pleasure he is feeling seemingly passes through me. 

By locking up, I'm able to focus on this side of my sexual pleasure and satisfaction and I've found it to be so much more long lasting. It can be days after we've had sex, and when I think back to the feel of his hard throbbing cock in my hand or in my mouth, or when I remember his dick sliding in and out of my hole and finally releasing his load into me, it feels so fulfilling and satisfying. The thought that my body is able to provide so much sexual pleasure to my Bull keeps me motivated to work more and give him more pleasure. Even days later, I'm able to think back on those moments and derive pleasure from them. 

This is the mental aspect of why I lock up. I realized that masturbating and orgasming was very short and fleeting. There is not a long term establishment of purpose in that act. Chastity allows me to sustain that mental engagement with sex and my sexuality and allow the physical moments to extend beyond a 15-30 second orgasm.

There is also a physical component to chastity for me. When I think back on my sexual experiences, I've never really derived much pleasure from my penis. Sure, I would jack off, orgasm, and that would feel good, but I never really felt like my penis gave me any sort of mind blowing physical pleasure. I remember in high school, when guys would brag about getting blowjobs from girls, I was always so envious and wanted to experience a blowjob (albeit from a guy not a girl). The first time I got my dick sucked, it wasn't that mindblowing act I've heard so much about for so long. Even fucking a guy for the first time, sure it felt good, but it wasn't anything beyond amazing. I'll be honest, it didn't feel any better or worse than jacking off. 

Don't get me wrong, for the most part, I still like my penis. I like having one and being a man, but chastity has changed the way I interact with my body sexually. For example, I love the feeling of leaking precum. That inherently is an act produced by a man's genitals. Being locked allows me to leak more often and at higher volumes. Feeling the liquid traveling up my urethra and being pushed out and the wetness on my clothes is a huge turn-on for me. I also love visually seeing my dick in a cage and watching my balls grow and fill up as more and more days go by without release. All of these are reasons why I lock up. 

After discovering chastity, and now being over 3 years in, I've been able to discover other pleasure centers in my body beyond my penis. Without being able to orgasm traditionally, my nipples, hole, prostate, balls, and even just physical touch grants me so much more sexual pleasure than my penis ever did. This is the physical component of why I lock. I know often in D/s literature, they say a sub's pleasure comes from the Dom. While that's true for some aspects of why I lock up, recognizing my own physical pleasure from orgasm retention and denial is an important complement to that. I am able to get pleasure from toys, butt plugs, my Bull touching me and massaging me, as well as him fucking me. Chastity has opened me up to a whole other world of physical pleasure I never really experienced prior.

Chastity gives me a sense of sexual power that I've never felt before. Traditionally, men have been taught that their penis gives their sexual partners pleasure. In how they fuck, or whether they can make a partner orgasm with their penis, society places a high degree of sexual prowess in those acts. I've never felt that. I have to admit, my dick is nothing to write home about. At best, it's perfectly average. Being locked up, I realized I can provide other men, and in particular my Bull, with a level of sexual pleasure and satisfaction my penis never could. This sexual power I feel and the gain from being in chastity directly tap into my need for praise and recognition. It allows me to establish myself as a sexual being that can provide pleasure through other parts of my body and receive that pleasure in return. 

These are the reasons why I lock up. While there is a Dom/sub component to it, at the end of the day, chastity allows me to better connect with the sexual being I need to be. 

Three Years Later

 In my last post I mentioned that these past few days have been fairly stressful and the horniness hasn't really built up even though I've been locked and haven't cum for about a week at that point. I'm happy to report that today on day 12 of this lockup, I'm finally feeling that tingling feeling start to creep in. It gets me excited watching my body change and get more sensitive with the horniness and it's a marker of progress on this chastity journey. 

During the past couple days with feeling stagnant, I started to think about how far I've come in the last 3.5 years and the question of "why do I enjoy chastity and locking up my dick?" started becoming a prevalent thought. As a result, I revisited my teamlocked.men page from when I first started chastity back in the Fall of 2022. Re-reading those posts brought back a lot of memories of where I was back then and made me realize how much I have grown and learned about the world of kink and chastity. Originally, I wanted this post to be about "why I lock up?", but after reading the posts from over 3 years ago, I felt like I wanted to dedicate a post strictly to where I am 3 years later.

Looking back at my old blog posts from 2022, it's oddly nostalgic to see how much of a baby kinkster I was. Everything got me excited. Every hour locked, every little change in my body, every new discovery seemed massive and huge. At times, I do miss that period when I was just "SO EXCITED" to finally tap into kink and my sexuality in a way that I haven't been able to connect with at all my entire life. However, when I read deeper and reflected on those feelings more, I realized how much my horny brain was focused on "wants". 

I wanted my husband to be this Dominant keyholder I was seeing online (when at the end of the day, it overwhelmed him and it wasn't him). I wanted my body to change in certain ways that I didn't understand. I wanted to feel horny all the time, and I got disappointed when I didn't feel that horniness continue to build. As kinksters we talk about "wants" and "needs" a lot, and from a functional standpoint, I understood the difference. However, looking back on my old posts, I never realized how much it didn't "click" for me in practice.

That's not to say I completely understand what I need now; however, I have a much better understanding of my needs and I'm able to better distill and filter out what desires come in as wants. Some of this will cross over into "why" I lock-up, but for me, the biggest need is sexually satisfying my partner. I get that more easily through locking up, but I realized that the cage is simply a physical representation of that need. By denying myself pleasure, I'm able to better focus on my partner's. The other need is community. Over the last few years, I've had the opportunity to connect with a bunch of great individuals in the kink space that I would have otherwise not been able to meet. This also taps into my need to get to know someone before play. Over the last few years, I've had some pretty (for lack of a better term) poor play sessions. Each time, what was missing was knowing the person on a deeper level. The last need is praise and recognition as a sexual being. I mentioned in my first post that for years I've repressed my sexuality. Chastity and kink have allowed me to tap into that piece of myself and I learned that I need that praise and recognition from people. Whether that person be my husband, another Dom online, or a fellow sub supporting each other, I need to feel seen and recognized for my sexuality. 

These needs that I've noted above are fundamental to who I am as a locked sub. To be frank, there are days I question whether I truly am a sub (that's a post for another day). But these needs have started to really help guide my kink and chastity journey. I find myself not chasing that immediate "high" of a short term play partner. I'm much more discerning when it comes to interactions online and really trying to get to know people. Both these actions build community and allow me to get to know the person better. Although, sometimes in my horned up state, I still make that mistake and it usually doesn't turn out well, haha!

Something else I noticed from my old posts was how performative they felt. It read like a horny teenager discovering sex for the first time or a kid in a candy store. Reading them now, I didn't get the sense that the person in those posts was a locked sub; rather, they were just an excited boy trying to play a locked sub. I don't fault that person at all. I think I needed these last three years in order to grow and develop and learn about myself. I needed to define what kind of relationship I wanted to have with kink, while still allowing that relationship to change. 

Looking back, I had an "image" of what I wanted as a locked chastity sub. While there are still some elements that remain, I feel less focused on what I want out of chastity. Instead, I am much clearer about what I need from this kink. I want to dig into this more and explore it further in my next post. As for now, it's been great getting to reflect back on those old posts and seeing how far I've come. There have been ups and downs, and I don't know what the future holds, but it is exciting to continue to engage with and explore this kink.

1 Week Check-in: Staying locked without the horny build

I have officially been locked for 1 week! This week included zero orgasms or release. I've managed to hole train 3x this week, which was my target for this lockup, and once this blog post is published, I will have accomplished my 2x a week blog posting that my husband and I agreed upon. I'm happy that I'm starting to get into the swing of things and find my groove with this lockup period. What did surprise me a bit was the fact that I had to start from scratch with hole training. It's shocking how quickly my hole closed back up after 2 weeks of not playing with it. I had to start back at the Gapekeeper 65 and have since worked my way back to the Gapekeeper 75. Hopefully the consistency makes the Gapekeeper 75 easier to take. 

While I've definitely found my groove, I've noticed that during this particular lockup, my horniness is not building quickly. I attribute a lot of that to daily stress and just not really being in a "sexual" mood recently. I was talking to two kinky online friends and both of them had similar perspectives. The first one mentioned to me that naturally as humans, we don't want to have sex when we are stressed. During stressful times, our body tells us that we shouldn't procreate and bring another human into the world. So the desire for a man to spray his seeds is tempered. I thought about this and it could definitely be the reason I'm not feeling as horny. Not that I'd be allowed to spray my seed anyway, haha, but at least it makes sense. 

Another one mentioned that when we are in a constant state of "vigilance," it's difficult to feel "playful". At the end of the day, all of this, sex, kink, chastity, etc. is play. It makes a lot of sense why I'm not really in the mood and feeling playful as I work through the other priorities in my life right now.

With all of that being said, I am proud of myself for staying locked and keeping up with my tasks, even though I'm not necessarily feeling sexual. In the past, I would have unlocked and said, "what's the point of this?" Being able to stay locked during this period is a new feeling for me. Not seeing the horniness build and directly seeing the immediate impact of chastity is different and a feeling I'm trying to process and evaluate. I don't mind leaning into this feeling and I wonder if this is the process I need to tap into in order to achieve longer and longer lockups. Life is not always going to be a constant horny buildup. If I'm able to stay locked, keep hole training, and keep sharing this journey, even through these times, maybe hitting something beyond 60 days is possible in the future. What do y'all think? 

First Post: How we got here

I am currently embarking on a 60 day lockup with my husband. For my first post, I wanted to introduce ourselves and explain how we got here. I've always wanted to have a medium to write, post and share about my inner sexual thoughts. Growing up gay and Asian in a very traditional household and first generation immigrant family, sex and sexuality was not something that was openly discussed. On the contrary, it was very much frowned upon which led me to repress a lot of my sexual desires and fantasies. It wasn't until I met my husband (then boyfriend), that I started slowly opening myself up to a broader sexual world and eventually began exploring kink.

But before we get there, let me introduce ourselves and some of the names I'll be using (with some fun backstory). I'm piggy, and I am the locked sub bottom in our relationship. My husband is Bull and he’s a Dom top (more of a soft Dom), and my “key holder”. How did we get our kinky nicknames? Mine came from the first dinner I ever cooked my husband when we were dating. I made him a rosemary herb crusted pork loin and he said it was the best pork preparation he’s ever had. After we started getting more into kink, we thought back to that moment and the connection between pork and being a “pig” and the nickname stuck. My husband’s nickname came from a few places. One of his biggest kinks is edging and milking, so we always called it “milking the Bull”. My husband also likes to fuck HARD and the first few times, I commented that it was like “a Bull in a china shop”. Somehow, these events in our relationship stuck with us and thus Bull and piggy were born.

We started exploring chastity about 4 years ago in 2022. This was still sort of the COVID times and being a healthcare worker, Bull was working long hours and was pretty stressed out. I was home and bored and that resulted in quite a bit of jacking off. The result of this was me not being interested in sex and him too stressed out to have sex. Just prior to this, Bull had encouraged me to explore kink, so I had just started dipping my toes in (mostly isolated to scrolling Reddit). I discovered chastity and cock cages and learned about how horny it made the sub and their willingness to service the Dom increased. I bought my first cage and started playing around with it and introduced it to my husband. It’s been a lot of ups and downs these last 4 years as we explored kink, both together and on our own.

I guess the next question is, why now? It’s been 4 years, why start a blog now? While the last 4 years have been a great introduction to chastity and locking up, I have to be honest, we’ve had our struggles. There have been ups and downs and a lot of talking and communication to better understand each other. At the end of the day, our kinks differ and chastity just is not Bull’s primary kink. He enjoys it with me and the effect it has on my horniness, but he’s not “naturally” a key holder and it’s much more my kink than his. Through all of this communication, we realized it wasn’t something we wanted to give up on. We both wanted chastity in our lives, so we started working on “how” to make it work better. That’s where this blog comes in.

The Bull had recently started a sex blog and he said it was a great way to release a lot of his inner sexual energy out into the world. He suggested I also consider writing about my inner thoughts. In early July, we had finished a 45 day lockup and took a couple weeks break to reset. We discussed what was next for us and decided to go for 60 days. This is going to be 60 days of piggy locked and not allowed to cum without the Bull’s permission. One of the tasks Bull has set for me is he wants me to blog twice a week. He thinks it’ll help me write out my thoughts, especially as we go longer and longer and I get hornier and hornier.

So here we are, my first post. This blog will primarily be my thoughts and feelings as I continue to explore the world of kink, D/s play, and chastity with my husband. I haven’t really figured out a flow to it yet (I’m open to suggestions), but for now, it’ll just be me sharing thoughts as I begin the longest continuous lockup and no cumming or orgasm period I’ve ever done. It’ll be raw and rough and simply be what is top of mind for me the day I sit down to write. Bull does have a requirement for piggy to blog 2 days a week, so expect that cadence when it comes to posts. Here’s to a locked piggy’s journey! Excited to see where this goes.